My wife and I have been on an interesting journey this past year. After leaving the church ministry last May where I had been serving as Worship Pastor and Musical Director for eight years, I found myself in an unfamiliar place: being without a church home, and beginning a journey to find a new church.
This was unprecedented for me, because I had always been on staff as Music Director at every church I attended - employed by the church I attended. After all, you kind of have to attend the church that is paying you to be there to lead their musical program!
We have not been in any hurry. There was some burnout, more than I realized, after having been in church work for over twenty years. In fact, now that I am teaching, this past Christmas season was eye-opening to me. Our family was together for the holiday, free of the pressures of church programs and services, and actually all at home on Christmas Eve together. Weekends have been restorative as well, without the weekly pressures of preparing and presenting multiple services full of music.
Nevertheless, the desire to worship with other Christ-followers, to be taught God's Word, and to be in community with other believers, has remained, and even grown over time.
Finding a church to call home is hard! As my wife and I have visited various churches, we have discovered that our list of things we desire in a church has come into sharper focus. Having come from a large church situation, you might be surprised at what we are looking for; then again, you might not be surprised at all.
1. Authentic, deep, caring, real-world relationships and community
2. Small scale programming and building facilities
3. A focus on reaching out to the community in real-life acts of service
4. A flexible approach to church that allows for the Spirit to intervene with what has been planned and prepared with His agenda and purposes
5. A dependency on God that is revealed by the leadership being humble and teachable
6. Worship that is emotionally moving, overwhelmingly about God and definitely not about the "performance"
7. Teaching that is Biblical yet consistently applied to life
It has taken us nearly an entire year to find a church that we believe fulfills these requirements. It is a church plant, barely a year old, that meets in a hotel ballroom each week. It is a young church demographically; we are among the old ones there. They don't have everything figured out, but their authentic desire to follow Jesus and share Him with their world shows in everything they do.
Last Sunday was not unusual, even though it was Easter Sunday. There were technical difficulties, and parking problems, and church did not start on time. But as I walked into the building, I asked God to speak to me through the worship and the message, and did He ever!
I found tears streaming down my face as I worshiped God. The words of the modern praise music ministered to me, revealing who God is to me, and causing my soul to respond with unhindered thanksgiving and praise. The message was genuine, and clearly the result of time spent with God and His Word. I was challenged to go deeper, to meditate on the truths shared, as I wrote down key points in my I-phone notes app.
As we left, I had an opportunity to thank the pastor for His message. His response was to thank me for being there, and to share that He could probably learn a lot from me and from my years of church experience. A humble leader.
On the walk to the car, I told my wife that God had impressed on me that morning that this was where we should attend church. Her response? I thought God was telling me the very same thing today! A wonderfully confirming moment, seeing God tell us both the same thing independently of each other.
I do firmly believe that God will speak to someone if they ask Him to do so. An open mind, an open heart, and open hands, all give Him the opportunity to lead us in the right direction as we seek to follow Him. It's a great place to be!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Family Tragedy
On Sunday night, February 6, at around midnight, my 22 year old nephew, Titus, committed suicide. I am still trying to comprehend his decision. Still trying to process how his decision has affected me and my family.
Titus had every reason to live. He had just bought his first home last year. He had a growing landscaping business. His relationship with his family was close and loving. His faith in God was strong, his believe in his Savior Jesus Christ unwavering. Titus was a big, athletic, positive, friendly, likable young man.
He left a video, taped just minutes before he took his life. In it, he describes very matter-of-factedly what he is going to do, but never gives a reason why. He apologizes to his family for the hurt and pain his action will cause them. He describes how good his life is. He says he knows if he had called any of his family, they would have talked with him, prayed with him, and talked him out of his plan to end his life.
So what happened? We may never know. He had a bumpy relationship with his girlfriend, having broken up with her more than once. They had been talking and texting for the couple of hours before he ended his life. It seems certain to me that she knows something, but she isn't saying anything. But even so, this was his own decision, his own action. Nobody else held the gun to his head that night; he did.
His death rocked our family. They came from all over the country for his funeral, at great expense in many cases. Why? Because we needed to grieve together. To process what he did as best we could, while looking into each other's eyes. While holding onto each other.
I know that Titus is in heaven. His faith and trust in Jesus Christ as his personal Savior was certain. I also know that God numbers all of our days, and that His number for Titus was unchanged by his suicide. From my human perspective, his shortened life seems like such a waste, such a tragedy, but I can't see all that God sees. "All things work together for good for those who love God" is still in the Bible. I may never know more than a fraction of the good that will come from Titus's death, but I know it will come. I'm already getting glimpses.
There were 500 people at Titus's funeral. The officiating pastor gave a clear presentation of the gospel, and gave people the opportunity to receive Christ, or take home further reading materials, or contact area churches. I know of one person who received Christ in the service, and nearly all of the materials made available were gone by the end of the day. "All things work together for good."
My youngest daughter has begun to make her relationship with God a much higher priority. She has resumed a Bible study with her sister, has recommitted to attending church and a Young Life group on her college campus, and has a new and strong burden for her unsaved boyfriend to come to Christ. "All things work together for good."
I look forward to seeing more fruit produced out of this tragedy. I have no doubt that more good will come from this "bad." God is just that kind of a God. He has proven it to be true over and over again in my life.
Oh - and I look forward to being reunited with Titus in heaven some day. That's where this story really ends!
Titus had every reason to live. He had just bought his first home last year. He had a growing landscaping business. His relationship with his family was close and loving. His faith in God was strong, his believe in his Savior Jesus Christ unwavering. Titus was a big, athletic, positive, friendly, likable young man.
He left a video, taped just minutes before he took his life. In it, he describes very matter-of-factedly what he is going to do, but never gives a reason why. He apologizes to his family for the hurt and pain his action will cause them. He describes how good his life is. He says he knows if he had called any of his family, they would have talked with him, prayed with him, and talked him out of his plan to end his life.
So what happened? We may never know. He had a bumpy relationship with his girlfriend, having broken up with her more than once. They had been talking and texting for the couple of hours before he ended his life. It seems certain to me that she knows something, but she isn't saying anything. But even so, this was his own decision, his own action. Nobody else held the gun to his head that night; he did.
His death rocked our family. They came from all over the country for his funeral, at great expense in many cases. Why? Because we needed to grieve together. To process what he did as best we could, while looking into each other's eyes. While holding onto each other.
I know that Titus is in heaven. His faith and trust in Jesus Christ as his personal Savior was certain. I also know that God numbers all of our days, and that His number for Titus was unchanged by his suicide. From my human perspective, his shortened life seems like such a waste, such a tragedy, but I can't see all that God sees. "All things work together for good for those who love God" is still in the Bible. I may never know more than a fraction of the good that will come from Titus's death, but I know it will come. I'm already getting glimpses.
There were 500 people at Titus's funeral. The officiating pastor gave a clear presentation of the gospel, and gave people the opportunity to receive Christ, or take home further reading materials, or contact area churches. I know of one person who received Christ in the service, and nearly all of the materials made available were gone by the end of the day. "All things work together for good."
My youngest daughter has begun to make her relationship with God a much higher priority. She has resumed a Bible study with her sister, has recommitted to attending church and a Young Life group on her college campus, and has a new and strong burden for her unsaved boyfriend to come to Christ. "All things work together for good."
I look forward to seeing more fruit produced out of this tragedy. I have no doubt that more good will come from this "bad." God is just that kind of a God. He has proven it to be true over and over again in my life.
Oh - and I look forward to being reunited with Titus in heaven some day. That's where this story really ends!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Reading Through The Bible
I am reading through the Bible this year, 2011. It's not because I made a new year's resolution. In fact, I started several days after the start of the new year. I guess I'm not really sure why I started to do this again this year.
You see, I have done this before. It has always been a tough but important assignment. But this year I am trying a new reading system that involves two readings in the Old Testament and two readings in the New Testament. It began with Genesis 1, Ezra 1, Matthew 1 and Acts 1.
It has been a refreshing and rewarding approach.
As I have read about the beginnings of the world and of the church, and as I have witnessed the birth of the Savior and the return of the exiles to Jerusalem, I have been surprised at the broad and common themes seen in all four divergent texts. All have pointed to God's holiness and anger towards sin mixed with and so often overcome by His gracious mercy shown to a fallen people. I have seen the importance of obedience to God's will for people who lived thousands of years apart. I have marveled at the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, as He has purposefully reached into our world in so many significant ways.
It has helped me grasp the reality of our timeless God with greater clarity than ever before. And produced a heart full of overwhelmed gratitude that He has touched my life with His presence and mercy as well.
Thank you, God, for who You are and for what You have done. For Abraham, for Nehemiah, for Peter, for Paul.....and for me!
I'm looking forward to seeing more of God's Word revealed to me by His Spirit as this year continues.
You see, I have done this before. It has always been a tough but important assignment. But this year I am trying a new reading system that involves two readings in the Old Testament and two readings in the New Testament. It began with Genesis 1, Ezra 1, Matthew 1 and Acts 1.
It has been a refreshing and rewarding approach.
As I have read about the beginnings of the world and of the church, and as I have witnessed the birth of the Savior and the return of the exiles to Jerusalem, I have been surprised at the broad and common themes seen in all four divergent texts. All have pointed to God's holiness and anger towards sin mixed with and so often overcome by His gracious mercy shown to a fallen people. I have seen the importance of obedience to God's will for people who lived thousands of years apart. I have marveled at the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, as He has purposefully reached into our world in so many significant ways.
It has helped me grasp the reality of our timeless God with greater clarity than ever before. And produced a heart full of overwhelmed gratitude that He has touched my life with His presence and mercy as well.
Thank you, God, for who You are and for what You have done. For Abraham, for Nehemiah, for Peter, for Paul.....and for me!
I'm looking forward to seeing more of God's Word revealed to me by His Spirit as this year continues.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Have a "Mary" Christmas
As I sit here this Christmas morning with a cup of coffee in my hand and with the house still quiet, I am reminded of a devotional I heard someone give last Christmas that is still impacting me a year later.
The devotional was about the familiar story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42. Jesus is visiting them in their home, and while Martha is busy in the kitchen preparing a meal for their guest, her sister Mary is doing nothing except sitting near Jesus listening to everything He has to say. Martha comes to the Lord and complains about her sister, asking Him to tell Mary to get busy and help her sister with all the work.
Jesus' answer must have surprised Martha. He tells her, "you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it - it's the main course, and won't be taken away from her." (The Message)
What was His point? He was telling her the better thing is to be sitting quietly and just being in His presence, not working away on things that don't really matter, even if they are being done for Him. He was saying to her (and to us) that we can be so busy doing "important things" that we miss the whole point of Jesus presence with us - that of responding to our Emmanuel ("God with us") by worshiping Him and listening to His voice.
I saw Billy Graham being interviewed on a television show earlier this week. He was asked what advice he would give to pastors who are just beginning their ministries. His answer? Be sure to make reading and studying the Bible and prayer your highest priorities. Not building the church, gaining more converts, setting good ministry plans, being culturally relevant - just focusing on Bible study and prayer. I think that is good advice for all of us.
So, I wish, for me and for you, to be more like Mary than Martha. To pursue our relationship with our Savior above all other things. "Mary" Christmas, everyone!
The devotional was about the familiar story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42. Jesus is visiting them in their home, and while Martha is busy in the kitchen preparing a meal for their guest, her sister Mary is doing nothing except sitting near Jesus listening to everything He has to say. Martha comes to the Lord and complains about her sister, asking Him to tell Mary to get busy and help her sister with all the work.
Jesus' answer must have surprised Martha. He tells her, "you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it - it's the main course, and won't be taken away from her." (The Message)
What was His point? He was telling her the better thing is to be sitting quietly and just being in His presence, not working away on things that don't really matter, even if they are being done for Him. He was saying to her (and to us) that we can be so busy doing "important things" that we miss the whole point of Jesus presence with us - that of responding to our Emmanuel ("God with us") by worshiping Him and listening to His voice.
I saw Billy Graham being interviewed on a television show earlier this week. He was asked what advice he would give to pastors who are just beginning their ministries. His answer? Be sure to make reading and studying the Bible and prayer your highest priorities. Not building the church, gaining more converts, setting good ministry plans, being culturally relevant - just focusing on Bible study and prayer. I think that is good advice for all of us.
So, I wish, for me and for you, to be more like Mary than Martha. To pursue our relationship with our Savior above all other things. "Mary" Christmas, everyone!
Monday, October 25, 2010
United Airlines "Comfort Pet" Policy is bizarre!
Okay - time for a departure from the usual content of my blog entries. This one is a true story you may find hard to believe.
Last week, I was on a flight from Denver to LAX. Before I boarded, I noticed a young lady in her twenties with a large pit bull in the waiting area. She had it on a leash, and there was no crate for it in sight. When I boarded the plane, I made my way to my place, which was my usual aisle seat. After I settled in, here came the young lady, down the aisle, still with her pit bull on a leash. Sure enough, she ended up seated at the window of my row, with this big dog in the seat next to me. At this point, I thought this was certainly unusual. I had seen people on planes before with small dogs or cats. and always in pet carriers, but never a dog this size!
Then a young man came down the aisle and located his seat, which was....the middle seat between me and the window girl and her dog! That is when I decided to consult the flight attendant at the back of the plane. It couldn't possibly be okay to have a full row with three people PLUS a large uncontained dog. Her response? With United, passengers are allowed to have a "comfort pet" accompany them on a plane, no matter what the size of the animal. She even said if someone brought a pet as large as a pony on board, they would have to try to make it work!
The flight attendants did find a seat for the poor guy in the middle seat up in economy plus, but that just meant I had this large dog in the seat next to me. The dog was well behaved the entire time, but I wondered what would happen if a dog with a difficult or territorial disposition ended up on a plane. As I left, I noticed the dog had left large quantities of dog hair all over the seats of that row, and wondered how the cleaning crew would handle that.
Is it just me, or is that a ridiculous policy for United Airlines to have regarding pets on their flights?
Last week, I was on a flight from Denver to LAX. Before I boarded, I noticed a young lady in her twenties with a large pit bull in the waiting area. She had it on a leash, and there was no crate for it in sight. When I boarded the plane, I made my way to my place, which was my usual aisle seat. After I settled in, here came the young lady, down the aisle, still with her pit bull on a leash. Sure enough, she ended up seated at the window of my row, with this big dog in the seat next to me. At this point, I thought this was certainly unusual. I had seen people on planes before with small dogs or cats. and always in pet carriers, but never a dog this size!
Then a young man came down the aisle and located his seat, which was....the middle seat between me and the window girl and her dog! That is when I decided to consult the flight attendant at the back of the plane. It couldn't possibly be okay to have a full row with three people PLUS a large uncontained dog. Her response? With United, passengers are allowed to have a "comfort pet" accompany them on a plane, no matter what the size of the animal. She even said if someone brought a pet as large as a pony on board, they would have to try to make it work!
The flight attendants did find a seat for the poor guy in the middle seat up in economy plus, but that just meant I had this large dog in the seat next to me. The dog was well behaved the entire time, but I wondered what would happen if a dog with a difficult or territorial disposition ended up on a plane. As I left, I noticed the dog had left large quantities of dog hair all over the seats of that row, and wondered how the cleaning crew would handle that.
Is it just me, or is that a ridiculous policy for United Airlines to have regarding pets on their flights?
Monday, October 11, 2010
If we took a break from emotionally-existential, hyper-individualized, overly-romanticized worship songs, would we have much left to sing?
Glenn Packiam posted this question via Twitter on his facebook page recently. Glenn has been a leading and influential voice in the world of evangelical worship music, and has been a member of the worship and leadership staff at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. It sparked a lot of discussion on his Facebook page, as you might imagine!
It reminded me of Bob Kauflin's approach to finding good worship music. At a songwriting conference I attended a couple of years ago, he said that he always reads through the lyrics before he listens to even one note of the musical setting. It keeps him from picking a song based solely on a catchy tune or interesting harmonic structure. I admire that! How many of us would have the guts to use that filter?
As a songwriter, I have always begun with my lyrics, so that I know I am saying something important before I set it to music. I'm not saying that is the only way to songwrite, but it does help act as a guard for me against letting the musical setting drive what is being sung, and risking the tail (music)wagging the dog (lyrics).
This is not to say the musical setting is not important, or even vital, to the effective communication of a song. A memorable melody line, an unusual chord progression, or an interesting rhythmic bed can all be important contributers to a song that people will respond to. The right musical setting can make a song work great; the wrong musical setting can ruin it. We are songwriters, not just poets.
I think Glenn's question is worth asking, and perhaps asking fairly frequently, as we assess our worship. Let's stay away from the shallow part of the worship pool, and choose to instead dive into the deep end!
It reminded me of Bob Kauflin's approach to finding good worship music. At a songwriting conference I attended a couple of years ago, he said that he always reads through the lyrics before he listens to even one note of the musical setting. It keeps him from picking a song based solely on a catchy tune or interesting harmonic structure. I admire that! How many of us would have the guts to use that filter?
As a songwriter, I have always begun with my lyrics, so that I know I am saying something important before I set it to music. I'm not saying that is the only way to songwrite, but it does help act as a guard for me against letting the musical setting drive what is being sung, and risking the tail (music)wagging the dog (lyrics).
This is not to say the musical setting is not important, or even vital, to the effective communication of a song. A memorable melody line, an unusual chord progression, or an interesting rhythmic bed can all be important contributers to a song that people will respond to. The right musical setting can make a song work great; the wrong musical setting can ruin it. We are songwriters, not just poets.
I think Glenn's question is worth asking, and perhaps asking fairly frequently, as we assess our worship. Let's stay away from the shallow part of the worship pool, and choose to instead dive into the deep end!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Refrigerator Rights
My wife and I have hosted a small group in our home for the past 7 years. The four other couples in the group have become some of our dearest friends in the world. We have shared a lot of life together. Relationship challenges, concerns about our children, financial and health crises. When difficult circumstances have touched a member of the group, we have cared for each other with loving concern and prayers. When successes have come, these are the people we have wanted to celebrate with.
Knowing others intimately, and being known equally well in return, fulfills a deep need we all have to belong. To be in deeply satisfying relationships. Life is so much better when it is shared.
Our group adopted a term some time ago. I don't know where it came from. I am sure it is not original to us. We call it having "refrigerator rights." What does that mean? It means you don't have to ask if you want to get something out of the refrigerator when at the home of one of the other couples. You can help yourself. Anytime. You have "refrigerator rights."
But the term "refrigerator rights" goes much deeper than just saying we can grab a can of soda or a bottle of catsup anytime we want. It speaks of how truly "at home" we are with each other. That we are so comfortable with each other, we really are just like family.
Who has "refrigerator rights" in your life?
Knowing others intimately, and being known equally well in return, fulfills a deep need we all have to belong. To be in deeply satisfying relationships. Life is so much better when it is shared.
Our group adopted a term some time ago. I don't know where it came from. I am sure it is not original to us. We call it having "refrigerator rights." What does that mean? It means you don't have to ask if you want to get something out of the refrigerator when at the home of one of the other couples. You can help yourself. Anytime. You have "refrigerator rights."
But the term "refrigerator rights" goes much deeper than just saying we can grab a can of soda or a bottle of catsup anytime we want. It speaks of how truly "at home" we are with each other. That we are so comfortable with each other, we really are just like family.
Who has "refrigerator rights" in your life?
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