I can't claim the title I am using for this blog. It is the title of a song by Christian troubador, Andrew Peterson. His music is always thoughtful, well-crafted and creative. It's a song written in tribute to his marriage, and describes the all-out commitment marriage requires in a beautiful and poetic way. Sermons could be preached, seminars led, using nothing more than the text of this song.
Maybe it has invaded my thinking because, in a week's time, I will be giving away the third of my four daughters. At any rate, here are some of the profound takeaways for me from his song:
1. Marriage is not just a beginning, but also an end.
While we frequently focus on the new relationship between the two getting married, celebrating the new union with all of its promise, marriage also represents the end, or death, of their lives as single people. No longer should their focus be on themselves; singlehood breeds narcissism, but marriage necessitates self-sacrifice and selflessness. Along with the vow "I Do," and all that it encompasses, is also a list of "I Don'ts" in terms of how we are to lay our lives down for our life mates.
2. Marriage is a risky venture.
The song title reveals that it is a dangerous thing to entering into a mutual and life-long marriage. There are many pitfalls (mines) that can destroy a marriage. We know this to be true. When one of every two marriages end in divorce, it can safely be assumed that marriage is a fragile thing. There is a reason why so many vows include references to sticking it out regardless of difficult circumstances that may arise: in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, etc. At my niece's recent wedding, I was impressed that they included in their vows this phrase: "I will never divorce you."
3. Marriage is idealistic.
The love passage, I Corinthians 13, says that love believes all things and is quick to forgive. Never let anyone try to burst the bubble of optimism with which you start marriage as a young person. In the song, Andrew describes that he and his wife were considered too young and nieve when they began their marriage. Even so, he is celebrating 15 years of marriage as he writes his song. The fact that marriage is God's idea, His plan, is reason for great optimism.
4. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed.
I love the picture of a couple dancing. My wife loves to dance. Her idea of a great date is for the two of us to go out dancing. She could dance for hours. There is something magical about dancing with your wife or husband. It is free and uninhibited. It is a courtship. The rest of the room disappears as you enjoy each other in the dance. Dancing is a picture of all the other ways a couple can enjoy the journey through life with each other. So go on: dance!
So go get the song on itunes. "Dancing in the Mine Fields" by Andrew Peterson. And if you have begun to lower your expectations for marriage, particularly your own, I encourage you to begin believing the best about marriage!
