Have a "Mary" Christmas

As I sit here this Christmas morning with a cup of coffee in my hand and with the house still quiet, I am reminded of a devotional I heard someone give last Christmas that is still impacting me a year later.

The devotional was about the familiar story of Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42. Jesus is visiting them in their home, and while Martha is busy in the kitchen preparing a meal for their guest, her sister Mary is doing nothing except sitting near Jesus listening to everything He has to say. Martha comes to the Lord and complains about her sister, asking Him to tell Mary to get busy and help her sister with all the work.

Jesus' answer must have surprised Martha. He tells her, "you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it - it's the main course, and won't be taken away from her." (The Message)

What was His point? He was telling her the better thing is to be sitting quietly and just being in His presence, not working away on things that don't really matter, even if they are being done for Him. He was saying to her (and to us) that we can be so busy doing "important things" that we miss the whole point of Jesus presence with us - that of responding to our Emmanuel ("God with us") by worshiping Him and listening to His voice.

I saw Billy Graham being interviewed on a television show earlier this week. He was asked what advice he would give to pastors who are just beginning their ministries. His answer? Be sure to make reading and studying the Bible and prayer your highest priorities. Not building the church, gaining more converts, setting good ministry plans, being culturally relevant - just focusing on Bible study and prayer. I think that is good advice for all of us.

So, I wish, for me and for you, to be more like Mary than Martha. To pursue our relationship with our Savior above all other things. "Mary" Christmas, everyone!  

United Airlines "Comfort Pet" Policy is bizarre!

Okay - time for a departure from the usual content of my blog entries. This one is a true story you may find hard to believe.

Last week, I was on a flight from Denver to LAX. Before I boarded, I noticed a young lady in her twenties with a large pit bull in the waiting area. She had it on a leash, and there was no crate for it in sight. When I boarded the plane, I made my way to my place, which was my usual aisle seat. After I settled in, here came the young lady, down the aisle, still with her pit bull on a leash. Sure enough, she ended up seated at the window of my row, with this big dog in the seat next to me. At this point, I thought this was certainly unusual. I had seen people on planes before with small dogs or cats. and always in pet carriers, but never a dog this size!

Then a young man came down the aisle and located his seat, which was....the middle seat between me and the window girl and her dog! That is when I decided to consult the flight attendant at the back of the plane. It couldn't possibly be okay to have a full row with three people PLUS a large uncontained dog. Her response? With United, passengers are allowed to have a "comfort pet" accompany them on a plane, no matter what the size of the animal. She even said if someone brought a pet as large as a pony on board, they would have to try to make it work!

The flight attendants did find a seat for the poor guy in the middle seat up in economy plus, but that just meant I had this large dog in the seat next to me. The dog was well behaved the entire time, but I wondered what would happen if a dog with a difficult or territorial disposition ended up on a plane. As I left, I noticed the dog had left large quantities of dog hair all over the seats of that row, and wondered how the cleaning crew would handle that.

Is it just me, or is that a ridiculous policy for United Airlines to have regarding pets on their flights?

If we took a break from emotionally-existential, hyper-individualized, overly-romanticized worship songs, would we have much left to sing?

Glenn Packiam posted this question via Twitter on his facebook page recently. Glenn has been a leading and influential voice in the world of evangelical worship music, and has been a member of the worship and leadership staff at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. It sparked a lot of discussion on his Facebook page, as you might imagine!
It reminded me of Bob Kauflin's approach to finding good worship music. At a songwriting conference I attended a couple of years ago, he said that he always reads through the lyrics before he listens to even one note of the musical setting. It keeps him from picking a song based solely on a catchy tune or interesting harmonic structure. I admire that! How many of us would have the guts to use that filter?
As a songwriter, I have always begun with my lyrics, so that I know I am saying something important before I set it to music. I'm not saying that is the only way to songwrite, but it does help act as a guard for me against letting the musical setting drive what is being sung, and risking the tail (music)wagging the dog (lyrics).
This is not to say the musical setting is not important, or even vital, to the effective communication of a song. A memorable melody line, an unusual chord progression, or an interesting rhythmic bed can all be important contributers to a song that people will respond to. The right musical setting can make a song work great; the wrong musical setting can ruin it. We are songwriters, not just poets.
I think Glenn's question is worth asking, and perhaps asking fairly frequently, as we assess our worship. Let's stay away from the shallow part of the worship pool, and choose to instead dive into the deep end!
    

Refrigerator Rights

My wife and I have hosted a small group in our home for the past 7 years. The four other couples in the group have become some of our dearest friends in the world. We have shared a lot of life together. Relationship challenges, concerns about our children, financial and health crises. When difficult circumstances have touched a member of the group, we have cared for each other with loving concern and prayers. When successes have come, these are the people we have wanted to celebrate with.
Knowing others intimately, and being known equally well in return, fulfills a deep need we all have to belong. To be in deeply satisfying relationships. Life is so much better when it is shared.
Our group adopted a term some time ago. I don't know where it came from. I am sure it is not original to us. We call it having "refrigerator rights." What does that mean? It means you don't have to ask if you want to get something out of the refrigerator when at the home of one of the other couples. You can help yourself. Anytime. You have "refrigerator rights."
But the term "refrigerator rights" goes much deeper than just saying we can grab a can of soda or a bottle of catsup anytime we want. It speaks of how truly "at home" we are with each other. That we are so comfortable with each other, we really are just like family.
Who has "refrigerator rights" in your life? 

Why can't we all get along when it comes to worship?

Worship wars. We have all heard about this - folks drawing lines in the sand about what music should and shouldn't be like in the church. The perspective that "you are either with us, or against us." If you have experienced this battle in your church, you know that, just like in a real war, there are casualties. People who leave a church over music. At its worst, church splits. And if you haven't experienced this battle yet, buckle up. It will likely only be a matter of time before you do. It's like a virus, a silent church killer, moving and spreading from one church to another seemingly at will. Our enemy must  be delighted at how effective this can be in destroying churches.

This war can take many forms. It can pit the older against the younger. Those who want the organ against those who want a band. Those who want hymns against those who want to hear what is currently on the radio. Those who want a choir against those who think a choir is completely out of date. Those who want a lot of media used with those who want to keep things simple and unadorned. Those who prefer loud and exciting with those who want quiet and reflective. And the list of debatable issues goes on and on.

The reality is that we all have our own personal tastes when it comes to music. Stuff we like, and stuff we don't. In the same congregation you are likely to find someone with season tickets to the symphony, and someone else who goes country line dancing every Friday night; someone whose idea of a good date is sitting in a jazz club, and someone else who knows every word in the latest rap music offering on itunes.

For a religion where "they will know we are Christians by our love" the topic of worship is our least convincing argument. Our conflicts over worship destroy any belief that we are successfully living in unity or practicing what we preach. It's no wonder we are so often called hypocrites by those outside the church. Music can provide enough damaging proof all by itself, without needing to go into any doctrinal debates or denominational differences.

I have seen church after church struggle to find a solution to our varied tastes in music. I have been a part of many discussions on this topic as I have served as worship pastor in large churches scattered across the United States. Trying to figure out what will work best. What will offend the least number of people. We have taken congregational surveys that have left us tied in knots trying to find common ground among all of the opinions expressed.

All of which has brought me to the following point of view. The Church, the Body of Christ, is best served by two guiding principles when it comes to worship:

First, let's make it about God, not about us. "Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength." It's not about us! We have an audience of one when we worship, so let's focus on honoring Him with our praise. Even if the form being used is not our personal style preference. The God who showed his wide ranging creative ability in fashioning the world we enjoy surely also has a wide range of what He considers appropriate expressions of worship. While we all have our preferred ways to worship, with styles we enjoy, why not look to expand our repertoire of worship before the God of this universe? He's big enough to receive it all. In fact, He is far more concerned with what is going on in our hearts than with the form or style of worship being used. So let's have hearts full of praise, focused completely on Him and able to use a wide range of styles, even the ones that stretch us.

Second, let's prefer one another rather than ourselves. "Love others as you love yourself." Guess what? It's not about you! What if we looked for ways others can express themselves in worship, even when it's not what we are comfortable with. Let's be spiritually delighted when we see another Christian able to praise God using a musical style that we find hard to accept. That change in attitude might draw us closer to each other and increase the common ground we have in worship. The movement to have various services with divergent worship styles all being offered at the same church causes consumerism, division and actually does nothing to foster unity as a church. How much finer would it be to see grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren, all worshiping God together in the same room, appreciating and understanding when the worship ministers to others better than themselves, and yet still able to enter into the worship experience themselves, despite all its varied forms.

With these two principles applied to worship settings, I believe it is possible for all of us to get along when it comes to worship!

The Value of Small Groups

I believe in small groups.

Nearly ten years ago, my senior pastor asked me if I had any accountability relationships with other men. I responded that I did not. He encouraged me to consider forming a small group of men to whom I could be accountable. The idea of having a group of close friends with whom I could be transparent and open was an idea I quickly warmed to.

As I prayed about it, the Lord brought three men to my mind. Each one already knew me through their involvement in the worship ministry at the church where I was serving as worship pastor. I approached each of them individually, asking them if they would be willing to meet weekly with me for Bible study and prayer and for mutual accountability. Each man agreed to be a part of the group.  We began meeting at a McDonald's restaurant early in the morning every Friday.

I had no idea how important this group would become to me. As we shared together each week, we become as close as brothers, sharing our struggles, fears, pain, successes and joys. Our relationships became so transparent that there was nothing we held back from one another. It was a safe place to be. There was plenty of laughter, occasional tears, and deeply satisfying time spent together in God's Word and in prayer. Last year, I officiated the wedding of one of the guys. There have been dinners, ball games, work projects, house movings, and even family vacations with each other. We have experienced life together.

Through the years, the group grew to six men, and even today, over ten years later, we continue to stay in weekly contact with each other. I moved to Colorado from Arizona eight years ago, but the distance hasn't lessened our commitment to each other. There are emails flying back and forth many times each week. The rest of the group still meets each week, even though I am no longer there. We hold a yearly summer retreat in the mountains of northern Arizona, and it has become the spiritual highlight of our year. These brothers in Christ have given me some of the closest friendships I will ever have. These guys will be men I remain close to for the rest of my life.

I believe in small groups.

 

Are we losing sight of our true mission as Christ's church?

I have been on staff at several large churches over the past 20 years. At each church, those of us in leadership have spent a lot of time strategizing our approach to ministry and evaluating our methods and effectiveness. We have attended conferences at large and growing mega-churches, hoping to learn from their successes. We have adopted various mission statements, vision statements and priorities, each time trying to make them memorable and catchy.

This past summer, I took a break from ministry. I have been reading, thinking and praying about how we do church in today's American culture. I'm not sure I have many answers, but I have begun to ask some questions.

1.  In our effort to be appealing and relevant to our cultures, have we lost the primary importance of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ?
2.  Are we relying more on the human wisdom of marketing and packaging than we are on being dependent on the Holy Spirit for ministry guidance and spiritual fruit?
3. Is bigger really better when it comes to churches, or do we risk a culture where deep relationships and vital community are difficult to achieve?
4.  Do our clever marketing strategies actually work against the goal of producing mature followers of Jesus Christ?

I find my heart yearning for a return to the basic essentials - to the simplicity of focusing on the Great Commandment (to love God and love others) and the Great Commission (to go into the world and preach the gospel, baptizing and teaching those who believe).

Maybe all of our strategies and methods aren't bad in and of themselves, as long as we don't allow them to take leadership over the primacy of living out the gospel of Jesus Christ. As we approach the end days, we cannot afford to lose sight of why we have been left here on this earth. Life is too short, hell is too hot and too many people's lives are at stake.